We all belong here.

In high school, I was so afraid of being labeled a loner or — being one — that I did everything in my power to stop it from happening. I swallowed my pride. I would ask just about anyone if I could sit with them at lunchtime. I would even pretend to be someone I’m not, just so I would “fit in,” so they would like me. That’s how desperate I was.

And for a while, it worked. I had a group I could sit and hang with… but it didn’t make me feel any less lonely. I realised you can be surrounded by a room full of people and still feel lonely. On the surface, it seemed okay (I didn’t look like a loner), but beneath all of it, I was truly alone. Not only that, it was exhausting, and I was only hurting myself.

When I finally had enough, I said to myself, “enough is enough,” and mustered the courage to walk away from all of that. I ended up sitting alone, and now I was truly a “loner.” It was scary, and sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision. But being alone felt better than being in a group that made me feel lonelier. It was liberating.

It’s okay to be lonely. It’s not something you have to deny or run from.

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Last year, when I moved into my apartment I felt really alone, I have never been away from home before and come from a family of 6 with me being the oldest. I missed the noise of home, the comfort of knowing someone was always nearby. Even though I decorated, it didn’t feel like mine for a long time. I spent evenings staring at the ceiling, wondering if I made the right choice. It was lonely, but I knew I had to learn to be okay with it. After about a year getting a job and making friends was when I began to feel settled. I now wouldn’t have it any other way

Growing up I had to deal with both parents becoming incarcerated. Then my sister going to live with my granddad, my brother boarding at his high school and me staying in a boarding college for Uni I began to feel really isolated and alone.

Loneliness
A quiet room where shadows fall
My minds a mess, a constant brawl
The moon sneaks in a silver spy
A silent traitor in the sky

This loneliness is more than pain
It’s a tough drought disguised by rain
The laughter never fills the air
This colony just feels too unfair

A single smile, a shining light
A little action can stop this blight
Back in a room where shadows fell
My mind is free, no longer a cell

The clear bubble in the bottom left represents an individual going through a journey. The start of the journey is more lonely represented by the jagged cool line, and it gets more smooth and warm as time goes on, and you become more integrated to your new environment.