We all belong here.

Harboured feelings
Two years of unspoken feelings
Beneath my porcelain heart
Our unrequited love lingering in the air
Deeply enamoured by your enigma… grace, intelligence, and beauty
Found the sweet nectar of tranquillity
In another woman's embrace
But we fell right down, the rabbit hole
Now trapped in a world where our love is forbidden
Hostility fills the air
Oh,the melancholy
Surround myself with a glimpse of illusions
To prevent my heart from the lingering pain
Our connection that transcends the ordinary
Love bound into an intoxicating spell.

(This is the piece I am currently working on. It's not finished hehe. It's about how my nuerodiversity and experiences affected the way I seek relationships. How one person could turn into my whole world. In my experience, I believe it is a common experience for neurodivergent individuals.)

Familiar streets, sheets, faces,
Now ephemerally disfigured.
You’ll be fine eventually…
Familiar calls, texts, places,
Never the same again, just wasted.
Nothing’s meant to last, right?
Dread bleeds into the distance.
Everything that meant anything has turned to dust.
The impossibility of change seemed like an illusion.
And looked nothing like the certainty to come.

I think I was trying to capture the loss of sense of self that I experience when I am lonely. I also experience a loss of connection to reality, it feels like a searching for place and belonging again. And not being able to recognise that there is support or options there. Just feeling disconnected from reality and feeling small, and searching.

Seconds feel like hours
Hours feel like days

Slowly

Afraid of the horizon
Forced to change

Gently

Stumbling in the dark on the path less traveled
Will I be okay?

Loneliness
A word and feeling all encompassing
We walk through life feeling
Like an outcast, a nobody.
We live in an age where we are so connected
Yet so disconnected. Socially. Emotionally
We chase after likes, followers, achievements.
Yet it all feels so empty, like a bereavement.
Sometimes it feels like no one loves you
You don’t even love yourself, whats even the point of popularity.
Hating yourself, blaming yourself for being different
Thats got less to do with my disability
But how can i feel in this world that won’t accept my identity
This is my journey, battle, The war within.
I had friends, who i thought would support me,
Left, leaving me a wreck, emotionally.
I was told to stop being weak,
Even though every day I was teary
I told myself this is the reality
Of why i feel lonely; ashamed of my feelings.
Who will understand me?
Sometimes, I get opportunities
To meet new people
To open myself up
To heal
To love myself
To give me
To feel understood
Healthy Friendships that empower and enlighten me
Spaces to share my story.
Makes the journey less isolating.
I realise, I’m not the only person feeling this,
I can create a new, different and empowering destiny.
Life can throw lemons
Yet I make lemonades
Life can feel lonely
Yet you path the way, the journey for other peoples quality.
Of life.
Life has its ups and downs,
Your lowest might feel like forever,
But like anything, never say never.
You will get better.
Life isn’t a competition,
It’s a collaboration.
You have the power to empower
That is our superpower
Of lived experience.
Because so many of us experience this.
all of us together.
We are never truly alone, just because we feel lonely.
We are one and only