We all belong here.

I still don’t know what I want to do with my life. I started working about three or four years ago, joining a graduate program with the federal government. It seemed like the right step at the time, but I didn’t finish it—I moved on to another job.

I’ve always been passionate about improving communities and helping others, which is why I thought the government would be the right place for me. I believed my skills and values would fit perfectly in that environment, but I was wrong. The bureaucracy was suffocating, and the endless waiting for senior management to take action was maddening. It felt like I was stuck in a loop, watching time slip by while nothing changed.

What frustrated me even more was that my colleagues—both the senior ones and even the ones around my age—seemed fine with it. They were content with the stability, and I couldn’t understand why. I was angry. I was ready for action, but it felt like I was the only one who really cared.

So, I moved to the private sector, hoping it would be faster-paced, more dynamic. But even there, it didn’t feel right. It was a for-profit company, and something about working for ""the man"" didn’t sit well with me. I had expected more, but instead, I found myself still disillusioned.

As someone who is neurodiverse, it’s even more frustrating. There are so many unwritten rules, office manners, and etiquette that just don’t make sense to me. Every day feels like I’m playing pretend, trying to fit into a system that doesn’t come naturally. It’s exhausting.

The loneliness in all of this is overwhelming. I’m someone who cares deeply about making things better, about improving systems, yet it feels like workplaces just don’t share that same drive. It’s hard to be surrounded by people who don’t care, especially when you’re putting in so much energy yourself.

The office culture isn’t great either. I want to connect with people, to hear their stories and share my own, but I find that others prefer to keep to themselves. I get it—it’s okay—but it’s demotivating for me when no one seems to match my energy. I’m passionate and eager, but it feels like I’m alone in that. It’s hard to keep pushing forward when you don’t feel seen or heard.

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Loneliness is a dark time for oneself. Detaching from friends, family and their usual hobbies into a space where its them trying to stay afloat, feel included and be themselves again. Most of one’s time in loneliness is spent on phone, avoiding others and the support they can access. The world is more dark, boring and not as enjoyable as it used to be.

Growing up I had to deal with both parents becoming incarcerated. Then my sister going to live with my granddad, my brother boarding at his high school and me staying in a boarding college for Uni I began to feel really isolated and alone.

Loneliness
A quiet room where shadows fall
My minds a mess, a constant brawl
The moon sneaks in a silver spy
A silent traitor in the sky

This loneliness is more than pain
It’s a tough drought disguised by rain
The laughter never fills the air
This colony just feels too unfair

A single smile, a shining light
A little action can stop this blight
Back in a room where shadows fell
My mind is free, no longer a cell

Loneliness, to me, is when you feel alone in the world. Like no one can understand or relate to your struggles. Loneliness is not having a community or strong social circle to fall back on. Loneliness, to me, is feeling afraid and tired. Loneliness, to me, is falling into short-term escapisms. Many people go through this every day across the nation and globally. It is a growing issue amongst the youth, and with the lack of community amongst young people, it is more important than ever to foster a sense of comradery amongst young people.

I've always felt different, something not quite right, like I had an invisible barrier between myself and other people. Don't get me wrong, I wanted to fit in. I really wanted to fit in. But I just couldn't quite manage it. A label on my forehead in permanent marker, "I am different". Different is cool in movies and books, it's unique. The quirky unattainable "manic pixie dream girl". But in reality different is isolation, it's loneliness. It's standing at the centre of a room feeling like you're Earth travelling a little too close to the sun but constantly wanting to chase the heat even though sometimes it burns a little too much from embarrassment. I thought Uni would be different, that the more people I meet the more likely it is to find my 'person', to find my planets. But really I just became Pluto, a little too insignificant to be anything at all. Forgotten in a sea of confusion, of other people on the cusp of adulthood trying to find their people too.

My experience of Uni so far is best described by this lyric by the wonderful Mr. Billy Joel, "they're sharing a drink they call loneliness, but it's better than drinking alone".

I often wonder how many people out there feel like me. Maybe if I knew the answer then I wouldn't feel so different, so lonely among others. Maybe I'd feel a little more ok to be me.

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