We all belong here.

Solitude by the Shore- this is the name of the photo I took of my friend.
This photograph is more than just a portrait for me, it’s a reflection of the quiet struggles that often go unnoticed in life. My friend sits on a rock, still and beautiful, yet there’s a weight in her expression, a sadness in her eyes that echoes the vast, endless ocean behind her. The ocean becomes a metaphor for the mind—deep, unpredictable, sometimes calm, sometimes turbulent. I  see mental health like this scene: moments of stillness on the surface while emotions move like unseen currents beneath. The solitude in this image is both peaceful and isolating, a reminder that even in the most breathtaking settings, someone can still feel lost. Through this photo, I want to highlight the quiet strength in vulnerability, and the importance of acknowledging the depths within ourselves and others.

Growing up I had struggled with accepting that loneliness would be a part of my life. Loneliness is bad. When I feel lonely then I’m not doing well. When I’m lonely I need to change.
Loneliness comes in many forms, at any time and place. It happens when I’m with others. It happens when I think I’m not alone. It happens sometimes frequently and sometimes not.
But I’ve come to accept loneliness as a part of the human experience. As something we observe and make friends with.

The first image is a depiction of loneliness, isolation. One stuck with their own negative thoughts, accumulating. colourful displays collaboration, connection, positive emotions, how varying ideas, thoughts, opinions and aspirations can intertwine and flourish from each other.

The second image is a representation of my younger self in residential care facilities with reinforced brick walls, ‘counting walls’. sitting alone, counting the individual bricks on the wall, a coping mechanism

‍

Starting university was a really strange time for me. I come from a low socioeconomic background and experienced a lot of stuff in my childhood that convinced me I was never going to have a nice future of my own. University definitely wasn't in my plans - no one in my family had been before, so when I started uni I was already feeling like an outsider. I felt like I didn't belong (major imposter syndrome!). I was excelling academically, but struggling in every other way. I was at mental rock bottom because I couldn't keep up with university. I was missing deadlines, missing most of my classes, and put zero effort into making friends. I craved the connection though, and often felt sad looking around me at uni and seeing my fellow peers talking and laughing together. It was worse in second year because by then, everyone had their established friend groups. It made me not want to go to classes anymore because I'd often be one of the only ones who was sitting there without someone to talk to.

I desired connection and new friends (as my current friends do not go to university), but my energy and time was focused on being in survival mode - grappling with severe anxiety and severe depression. My struggles with university started to make a lot of sense last year when I found out it was undiagnosed ADHD and I'd just flown under the radar my whole life due to exceptional grades and being very quiet/reserved - teachers wouldn't have had a reason to suspect anything. This was a big wake up call for me.

This year has been a lot better - I was medicated for both depression and anxiety (after two years of therapy) and it was the best choice I could've made, my mental health improved significantly. It's amazing the energy you can put towards things when your energy is no longer being used up trying to battle your own mind. I put myself out there in various opportunities both within and outside of university, I gained a few casual jobs, began volunteering in the community, and started making connections/networks. It's given me some confidence in myself, to the point where I'm actually looking forward to being back at university next semester (surprisingly!).

Transitioning from high school to university was very lonely for me. In high school, I already sometimes struggled with friendships. I had a few close friends but many of them were planning to move interstate for university, so I was excited to make more in university. Whenever I struggled with friendships in school, I would always be reassured that university was different. You’d be studying with people who chose the same course as you, so would be more similar and interested in the same things, and could also sit next to whoever you wanted unlike a classroom and hang out more than just afterschool. When I thought about the fun I’d have meeting new people who were more like me and having more time and freedom on my hands to hang out with them, I felt optimistic about the future.

‍
Graduating from high school was a huge transition. I no longer saw the friends I’d known for years and saw almost every day. Out of the few close ones I had, all but one moved interstate. I was happy for them. We called occasionally but not as much as I’d hoped to. When I got to university too, making friends was still difficult. Course units and timetables didn't always line up with other peoples which made it hard to see the same faces regularly. Sometimes I’d make friends, but they’d communicate and get closer on apps I didn’t use. Sometimes I’d make friends and it would go well for the semester and we’d have good chats during classes, but we’d fall out of contact after the semester finished. I didn’t feel like I had people I could connect with or rely on long term. This made me feel even more alone. My hopes of a better university experience were crushed.
‍

Sometimes, I didn't want to go to my tutorials. It made me anxious to walk into a room of strangers. I felt nervous and out of place. I liked university more than high school, but I missed the familiarity and comfort of my high school friends. Even people I wasn’t as close with in high school were at least familiar. The fear of not knowing anyone and the pressure to make new acquaintances each semester often made me want to just watch the lecture recordings at home, which only made me more isolated. COVID lockdowns were a whole other issue that magnified how isolated I was and made me feel so much worse. Eventually, I worked up the courage to join clubs at university and found one that was super welcoming. Finding friends who communicated on apps I used and trying to check in with my high school friends every now and then to keep a connection helped too.