We all belong here.

I decided to show both sides of loneliness, the positive & the negative. The starry night represents the more negative impact of loneliness, staying in bed, unable to get up, binge-watching, the mind fighting with its thoughts past 9:00 PM, harmful thought process and perspective.
This is the more harmful side that can be destructive to one’s mental health, especially when it’s excessive.
The opposing side is the acceptance of being lonely. Whilst I understand that loneliness can be very consuming in a negative way, there’s parts to being alone with yourself that is healthy. Coming about by accepting who you are, being out by yourself in nature, self-regulation, can improve one’s mental health. It’s a more brighter outlook once self-acceptance comes to heal a part of ourselves.

Sagnika story (transcribed)

In between abundance and loneliness, I sit there in between the path not knowing where I belong. It's all blue, even the abundance, life and happiness seem to lack lustre and colour as you understand that even being in the crowd is all just a masked life.

So I choose to sit there in the middle of the path watching the “no moon” that doesn't seem to know its presence, watching the “fish” that is looking to swim to the other side but ahead to be a food for others.

Watching the “small bird” that has just come out of its cozy nest wanting to fly to join it's group that's flying high in the sky. Watching the “one single leaf” on the dry tree holding itself tight to it, to keep itself alive.

‍

Plath said“I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked.”

And maybe its melodramatic but, how can I not feel like that.
I live fortunate enough attend university and shape my future the way I want. There is so much optimism placed on the ‘young’. But the feeling of all those options, all those figs, its crushing.
Heavier than any other responsibility.
My life.
When I graduate what jobs will I choose to do? Where will my life go?
I was promised all these opportunities but why does everyone else’s seem so much more real?
Like their life is headed exactly where they planned and I’m just trying to catch up.
When I look out on my fig tree, I see it all within sight, but I’m not grounded enough within my life to reach and grab it all. First, I had to learn a new city, then a series of new homes. If my mental energy is taken up with constantly looking at where my feet are standing, when will I look up at my tree again.

In my first year of uni, moving across the country from New Zealand to Australia, it was a very scary and nerve-racking experience for me, especially leaving home and family for the first time, as I am someone who is very family-oriented and very close to my family. Even though my 2 best mates from high school also decided to move to Melbourne with me and the 3 of us all attending the University of Melbourne, I think we were all trying to make new connections, try new things, and meet new people. But I felt lonely because I felt like I had not found my group of people that I vibe with, and it felt like everyone around me already had a friend group.

On instagram, all I would see are people hanging out, going on trips together, and I just felt that I never had that. Living at a residential college away from my old friends, we drifted a bit, and while I made new friends living at a college who were so kind and lovely, I always felt like I wasn’t completely myself and I didn’t really fit in. It was something that I felt like no one really understood and I felt really alone about, because I was surrounded by people, but I still felt really alone.

‍

For me, loneliness, because I also bring in the fact that I am autistic into this as well when it comes to something like this. So naturally, a lot of my thoughts and associations with loneliness is me not understanding others and others having their own group and their own kind of [actions] and me not necessarily understanding what's going on.
So that's how I kind of associated it. That's why I had the the group of people [on the left] On the right that's meant to be, not necessarily, me, but - a lonely person, kind of to the side.